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When I got home this morning I called my bank to find out what my options are regarding my auto loan. I haven't been able to find a job since taking the summer off, and we won't be able to make this month's car payment. The bank representative was very nice and wished me luck during this hard time.
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Last week I put our dog, Maggie, up for adoption since we may have to move in with family if we can't make rent. I placed her with a nice family, a mom with two daughters, that needed a watch dog. I'm glad we had the chance to foster her, she was a joy. And we got her house broken and started her obedience training, so she has a much better chance of staying in that home instead of getting sent back to the pound.
I miss her, she made me happy.
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We separated the boys' bunk beds this weekend, and I was able to make Will's bed for the first time in 8 months. He was so pleased he demanded that I make it again the next morning. I told him I would show him how to make it himself and then he could have a nice bed every day.
This morning he woke up, got out of bed, and then made it right up, all by himself.
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I went to an interview last week. I'm not sure why the manager called me in since it seemed like he had already made up his mind not to hire me. It was for an order processing and shipping position, so my paralegal background wasn't a very close match in his mind.
When he asked about my dependents, I proudly told him I have 2 little boys in VPK and pre-school. And just like that I somehow went from being an over qualified professional to a delinquent, no-show, calls-out-constantly, always-late, and leaves-early slacker. This guy was a little more blatant than most, but this attitude is everywhere. Nearly every interviewer feels the need to lecture me about the importance of coming to work.
I guess some people use their kids as an excuse to call out unnecessarily. Just like some people without kids use a stomach bug as an excuse to play hookie. Honestly, I imagine most parents are just trying to do the best they can--life comes at you fast and trying to find a solution when faced with a sick kid, school policy, doctor's schedules, and work deadlines might leave an employer feeling left out in the cold. But how about we give a person some credit and judge them on their merits not on our fears?
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And by the way, who made it alright to make people feel bad about taking care of their family? Why have we created a lose-lose scenario where parents have to feel like career failures for going to a child's Halloween Parade; and a parent failure for sending a kid with a runny nose to school against their better judgement? Do men feel this same pressure? Why does it matter if I use my personal time to care for my kids, or go skydiving with my college buddies? It's my sick time, it's my vacation pay--as long as I'm not a drain on your business, as long as I am significantly contributing to your company--how's about we step back and re-evaluate our attitude and appreciate the lengths I'm will to go to to achieve your goals while I'm trying to do my part to raise the next generation of our species.
Employers have forgotten that their company is only as good as its talent, and that respecting a worker's work/life balance is the best way to retain high quality employees and avoid the cost - both in time and reduced productivity - of high turn over.
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A brief note to all future employers:
Listen, I work to live. The good of your company is an important goal that I work towards because your business being strong benefits my family by providing income and stability.
I DO NOT live to work. My life is not an inconvenient distraction that I should have to deny for the benefit of your self-centered and antiquated idea of optimal productivity.
Signed,
Me
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I know I should be freaking out about not having a job, about losing the car and maybe our home. I should be even more stressed out than when I was working to barely support our family. I'm searching for work and going to interviews. I'm making hard decisions to reduce our expenses and try to keep us afloat a little longer. I'm trying to accept charity from family with humility and sincere appreciation. And as soon as the opportunity appears I will jump head first back into the insanity of trying (and mostly failing) to be an outstanding employee while raising and outstanding family.
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But in the mean time I am more happy than I have ever been. I am peaceful and calm. Hopeful and content. I watch my boys play with hand me down toys marvel at the children God gave me to raise. I enjoy afternoons spent listening to football games while re-reading my favorite book, and snuggle into the comfortable home Mark and I have made. These days I'm blissful as I take Will to school and then head out to run errands with Jack talking to me from the backseat about the buh-dees [birdies] he sees in each tee [tree].
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