Use vs. Have

Extreme downsizing, eh?  We can do that.  Extreme downsizing in 4 weeks?  Sounds doable.  Do it all with grace, patience, and my own signature brand of effortless adaptability?  ...  How about we just throw a bunch of stuff in the trash and see how it goes?

So when you think about extreme downsizing--if you think about extreme downsizing--you probably think about sorting your stuff based on want vs. need.  2 weeks in and I think want/need is less important to me than use/have.

You can't get rid of everything you want, you would be miserable.  In fact, I think of extreme downsizing as the opposite.  By getting rid of everything I only kinda like, or just have lying around, I'm left with only the things I really want.  Imagine a living space filled with the things you really love, the tech you touch everyday, the clothes that make you happy to wear, and the hobbies you are really passionate about.  Imagine the time you would have to bake, or draw, or code, or read if you only had to clean the clothes you love, the dishes you use, and a living space just big enough to protect you, your family and a few useful things from the weather.  Imagine sitting on your front porch in a wooded place, the house clean, the laundry done, and nothing to do 'til sunset but sketch play Warcraft play with your kids.

So the question I ask myself about each article of clothing, each dish, and tool, and book is, "Do I use this? Or do I just want to have it?"  If I don't use it, it doesn't go on the camper.  If I just want to have it than I ask myself if I want to have it enough to take up space at one of our various storage places (Mark's family, my Mom's house, I may stash a few boxes at a friends house).  The answer is usually no, and I can toss the item onto one of the 3 piles--trash,donate, or sell.

My laptop? Use - Goes in the camper
Mark's laptop? Use everyday - Goes in the camper (don't judge, Mark and I must be able to surf the web concurrently, or risk marital strife)
Kayak? Use, but rarely - Store it at the in-laws'
KitchenAid mixer? Use, love, LOVE.  But we really don't have room for it in the RV - store at the in laws'
Kegerator? That's right, we have a kegerator.  Actually, it's a keezer - or a converted deep freezer that can hold 3 mini kegs, has 3 taps.  Mark did the conversion himself.  This is one of those things that we REALLY want to have, but that we rarely use.  We want to be the kind of people who have people over every few months, and so could use a few kegs on tap.  But we are both kinda shy, and the prospect of entertaining sometimes gives me panic attacks. It has to go. - Sell
Dining Room table? We use it on holidays, otherwise it just collects junk - sell
My books? I love reading, and I like the way books look in a bookcase - but I don't usually re-read books and in the last 3 years I have bought most of my books in audio format or digital versions.  I realized the series I really loved--The Belgariad, The Wheel of Time--were actually pretty easy to pick out from the stuff I just had lying around. - Most of them were donated, a few special books are stored at the in-laws'
Baby clothes and gear? CRY!!! Of course we don't use this stuff anymore, Jack is 2.5 years old and the size of a linebacker, so the highchair and bouncy seat were put up a long time ago.  But I love them!!  That's not true, I love the time in my life that they are related to.  And I love the imaginary 3rd baby they could be used for.  But it's unlikely we will have another kid, and storing that stuff is totally impractical.  But little tiny clothes!!! Sigh. - Sell and donate.

And so on.  A lot of things are pretty obvious, like the washer and dryer have to go - no room for them, and I'm not paying rent for them to sit in a storage locker.  Other things I toss on the keep pile, but come back an hour later and move to the trash.  A few things I have thrown away several times but Will keeps finding them in the trash and digging them out (most notably the Halloween bucket from his last Happy Meals).

I suppose one could do this exercise without moving into a smaller home, but the parameters enforced by a 30 foot camper, and the deadline provided by the ending of our lease really add a sense of impending doom adventure.

We're Doing Something Crazy

Picture a wooded spot, a sun dappled clearing, a tin roof in the rain and a cool breeze blowing through open windows.  That spot is my happy place.

We work so hard to try to make a little time and money to visit that place.  But we really suck at it. Theoretically I know how to manage money: spend less than you make.  Don't use credit cards.  Buy with cash.  Minimize expenses, maximize income.  MAKE MONEY GOOD. SPEND MONEY BAD.  But instead we just keep finding ourselves behind the 8 ball.

And we spend most weekends alternating between frantically cleaning and actively trying to rest, to soak in the relaxation so we have the reserves to face another week.  Dishes, laundry, cook something, o.k. now clean it up! Clean a bathroom! Oh crap run to the store to get a thing to fix a thing that broke! Where's that one thing I need? Crap, it's buried under all this stuff I don't need.

I want things simple.  I want a little place for me and my family to be happy together.  I want a home base to find out want we really want, instead of just mindlessly chasing what modern American culture says we should want.  I want my kids to know that many things does not equal much happiness.

After a lot of research and discussion, Mark and I decided to try extreme downsizing.  We planned to buy an older RV, make it livable, and move our family in to live rent free for 12 months.

As luck would have it, my mom has been looking for an RV to buy for some time, so when we approached her about borrowing $2,000 for our rig, she countered with s proposal of her own.  My mom bought herself a used RV for us to live in, after a year she will move in and take it with her on the road, since she works all over the country for months at a time.

So I told the landlord we won't be renewing our lease and there is a FOR RENT sign in our yard.  I cancelled the utilities.  I requested change of address forms.

And we started getting rid of stuff: store, sell, donate, trash.  It's gonna take a lot of downsizing to get all four of us in here.

But when I sit in the rig, with the windows open, and the kids giggling outside, it feels right.  It feels like we might be on to something special.